Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A Daddy Discourse

I have never posted on this blog to my memory but Robin said that since it says "Daddy Discourse" that I should. I post most my lectures on my other blog. There I post very very very politically incorrect statements that offend pretty much everyone who doesn't know me. I voted Constitution Pary for Ron Paul this last election and for the local ones except where there wasn't a Constitution party representative. Then I voted Libertarian, and if there wasn't one of those, then I voted Republican. You will never hear anything good from my mouth about Obama. So anyways, as a father I believe my time is best spent playing! I love to play, I try to play with my kids during the day and I try to spend individual time with each of them. I don't think kids can ever get enough of their dad. My dad spent so much time with me but it was never enough! I always wanted more. My memories with my dad are soft and warm to me and they make me feel safe and comfortable like a warm blanket. My dad was the best dad I could ever ask for and I would never want another. So I hope my kids grow up with a similar feeling about me. These last couple of days I've spent quite a lot of time holding Julia and comforting her, and she has really become my buddy. She fell asleep on my lap with her head on my desk last night while I was doing some work. Her sweet little body was like an angel. I remember when TigerLilly (our cat) used to sleep on me and how nice that was. My Eliza is always glad to see me and usually runs to give me a hug even if she just saw me a few minutes ago. Israel reminds me so much of Travis that it makes me sad. I miss my brother and sometimes seeing Israel so often makes me miss him. If I think too much about it I start crying (like right now), and I usually end up calling Israel by the name of Travis on accident. I think if most dads are like me, then they probably usually feel inadequate compared to their son's talents. Israel is a star, he shines everywhere he goes and is kind to his sisters (most of the time) and treats others all the same (with lots of love). I'm trying to teach him that just because he's bigger than others doesn't mean he can bully them. I think I bullied Travis too much when we were little, but as I got older and was bullied myself I think I quit that almost completely and swore I'd never make anyone feel like I did. Unfortunately, my memories of bullies are all too fresh in my mind and I've tried to work through these disturbing memories using my counseling skills. I can only remember being pushed once or twice, and I was never hit or kicked or even yelled at by my bullies. My bullies were all psychological bullies. That was what they resorted to in a society where physical bullying is not permitted. Teachers have no training in psychological bullying and don't know how to respond to it, most of them can't even recognize it and think that the bullied child is just too sensitive. Having studied the subject at depth I've learned that whether one is affected by psychological bullying has nothing to do with being sensitive, except that bullies might see this as a vulnerability upon which they can prey. Studies show that no one is immune from psychological bullyings affects, whether they are rich - poor, strong - weak, abuse - non-abused, educated - non-educated, or otherwise; the only predictor is that women are more likely to be abused. If you're a parent, be sensitive to your kids. If they're not comfortable, find out why. Listen to them and don't tell them they're wrong if they're uncomfortable. Sometimes they really are being abused, but if you're not listening then you won't know.


hallfarm said...

Apparently I can'tb post stuff on this blog. When I go to the dashboard I'm not included.

It will have been 10 years since I returned from my mission this July 9. We're having a reunion in Centerville and I'm excited. I checked out all the blogs on the mission reunion web page Julia was sitting on my lap looking at all the pictures and half asleep. You can tell all the blogs are being kept up by the beautiful wives of these RMs, because there is no way the guys are doing it. Most of the guys look fatter, and most have several kids. Julia started rocking out when she heard Bob Marley's song on Waldrum's blog It definitly has the most quality photographs too. Oveson won for the funnest pictures. Weeks had some romantic pictures up of their Valentine's day (a little too romantic). Most of the pictures are of the kids and that's all good. I don't know why I want to see all the guys from the mission, maybe just to prove that it really happened. That I really did spend two years on a remote Caribbean island when I turned 19 years old. It seems so long ago, that maybe I just convinced myself it happened. I think about it everyday, and just last week someone was asking why I speak with a lilt almost like an Irish person. Cha mon me know no. Mi guess tings dem a go so. mi wan see all the peoper dem fi tell dem mi miss dem bad mon. Mi a go haf a go by de Jerk Shack (162 West Center Street, Orem) fi mek mi see if it a mek fee' betta mon, an' git me some jerk chikin over dede so, and see if da peoper der-so a still chat de Patois, an' if de is anyone de-so mi a know. mi still tink say me a one yardie.

I guess I need to take all my mission pictures and scan them so I can post them. I went before they had digital cameras you know!

Robin said...

Thanks for posting love!

Carrie said...

I have to admit I am really interested in reading some of your politically incorrect opinions! Would you be willing to share your personal blog with us Ruggles?